The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty.

Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manning by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so.

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same problem, did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but instead came out with another solution.

He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

Moral of the story: always look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem..

When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn’t work at zero gravity (Ink won’t flow down to the writing surface).In order to solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million.. They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C. And what did Russians do………………..??

The Russians used a Pencil !!!

So, learn to focus on solutions not on problems “If you look at what you do not have in life, you don’t have anything” “If you look at what you have in life, you have everything”

What’s my beef with the monorail? Well for one, look at the station. It’s a far walk from KL Sentral, and the last end of the walkway is not covered. Now imagine walking under the hot sun in your power suit and lugging your briefcase/laptop/lunch box. By the time you reach the station, you’ll be left breathless. And imagine on a rainy day, you’ll be stuck in the station cursing the powers that be who designed the station for not including a covered walkway. How can anyone leave out something so basic from the plans??

Then there’s the ticketing counters. Too little ticketing counters and no automated ticketing machines. But wait a minute, even if there were automated ticketing machines, most of the time it wouldn’t except notes, or worse yet, it’ll be out of service. Then there’s the issue of the ticket itself. Why the hell is there only one entrance that accepts Touch N’ Go? What’s all the big hoo haa about promoting the usage of the electronic payment? Is it so difficult to have all the entrances equipped with the Touch N’ Go card readers? And why the heck is there only three entrances to serve a gazillion passengers? Not many people enjoy being herded like cows you know.

Once you have gone through the pain of purchasing the tickets, you now have to go to the upper level. Most of the time the escalator is out of service, and you have to take the stairs. Another sign of poor maintenance culture. We are paying for it, and we deserve to get what we paid for for fuck’s sake! Then the station alone is not disabled friendly, as I don’t see how a person in a wheelchair or crutches will be able to make it to the upper platform.

Then there’s the monorail carriage itself. Only two carriages to serve the morning rush hour? Are you for real? How could have someone fuck up something so simple? Malaysia is not the first country to have implemented this form of mass rapid transit. We should have looked at other countries to see how they have designed their system and taken a leaf or two out of their book. But no, being Malaysians, we just had to be egotistical and be different, and proceed to be such a fuck up in the process. Who’s laughing now? Definitely not the daily users who are herded in to the carriages and have to put up with the stench of smelly armpits. I truly salute you people.

Oh and another thing, what is the load limit? I shudder in fear to see the carriages packed to the brim, and I hope that no untoward incident occurs, like the monorail toppling over, killing everyone inside it as well as the people below. Do we need to wait for a tragedy to strike before remedial action will be taken? Oh wait….I forgot that this Bolehland!

Are wa lang really that fickle? How many of you will acherly think that by shoving these ugly mugshots down our throats ebelilay that wa lang will eventually vote for them? Is that the main criteria on how wa lang should form a decision on who to vote for? By choosing the candidate whose poster is hanging on the highest coconut tree, the number of posters a candidate has decorating the roundabout or the candidate with the fanciest decoration of posters? Come on man, prease don’t waste our time and yours. Nabeh! We liao liao have lagi best things to do, like figuring how to make ends meet each month.

Don’t these jokers stop and think si mi will happen after the erection period is over? All these posters will probably end up wrapping somebody’s kacang putih, nasi remak or even be recycled into jo cake paper which will end up wiping someone’s arse? Limpeh for one wouldn’t want my lan jiao picture to end up this way. Just think about it, your face kissing someone’s arse surrounded by shit one. This would really bring meaning to the term ass-kissing.

Hamik wa lang want as the voters are not more empty promises. Limpeh for one gets really pissed off flipping through the newspapers ebelilay to see all the countless warnings about how wa lang are throwing our future away if wa lang vote the inexperienced opposition into power. Like hello?? IF EXPERIENCE IS ALL THAT MATTERS, WE WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN A MAN ON THE MOON, WE WOULDN’T HAVE BUILT THE HOOVER DAM, THERE WOULD BE NO EMPIRE STATE BUILDING, THERE WOULDN’T BE ANY PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES. WE WOULDN’T HAVE DISCOVERED THAT THE WORLD IS ROUND, OR THAT THE PLANET REVOLVES AROUND THE SUN. Just think about it one.

So this erections, prease use your vote wisely and vote with your conscience. Vote who you want to vote for and not vote for who the garblement wants you to vote for. Hopefully the next 5 years would be lagi best and wa lang will see some change. Let’s not hope that we’ll end up like Burma, Afghanistan and whatever-stan.

“Oil prices hit US100 a barrel, government cannot afford to subsidize anymore!” screams the mainstream media. But wait a minute, Malaysia is a NET exporter of oil, shouldn’t Petronas be making a shitload of money each time oil prices increases, bringing in more revenue to the country? Why do we need to pay more? Something is not right here.

Oh well, once the petrol price increases, everything else will go up as well, except the flaccid dicks of many *ahems*. I weep for NegaraKu. It’s time we did something to change our fate, but sadly most of us are living in a state of denial. Most of us haven’t even registered to be voters, while most of us are interested in watching fictitious characters weeping non-stop on the idiot box. We should be weeping for our future for god’s sake!

2. Graduation by Kanye West
I must admit, I was never a fan of Kanye West. But this album really made me sit up and take notice of him. The songs here are really catchy, and teaming up with recent chart toppers only serve to make this album a blast to listen to. True, Kanye West will happily whine about the pitfalls at the top of the heap, clear his throat and try to rhyme it with Barry Bonds, or diss fish in a barrel all day, but that can’t stop a shameless good time, and Graduation maintains an unshakable knack for producing it. This is defintely the best rap album I’ve owned.

3. As I Am by Alicia Keys
Ok. It’s been like 1o years since she burst on the scene with her song ‘Fallin’ which has been played to death by Hitz.fm. 10 years on, she’s still making good music. To me, As I Am is her best album yet, and all the songs here are enjoyable. This is the 2nd album besides Graduation that been getting lots of airplay in my playlist. Her commitment is not to a single style but to what’s stirring her soul. Because of it, she’s moving R&B, or something like it, from the hips back to the heart.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

The Indonesian finishes his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He brags, ‘In Jakarta our glasses are so cheap that we don’t need to drink from the same one twice.’

The Bangladeshi obviously impressed by this drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don’t need to drink out of the same glass twice either.’

The Malaysian, cool as a cucumber, finishes his drink, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Indonesian & the Bangladeshi. He says, ‘In KL we have so many Indon and Bangla that we don’t need to drink with the same ones twice.’

Amazed by the feeling, the american declared that he will build the Empire State Building on the moon, and the rest of them clapped upon hearing this.

Next, the British astronaut, not to be outdone by the American, declared that it will be his life goal to build the London Bridge on the moon.

They then asked the Sri Lankan what he would do. He replied, “When we see the full moon, we don’t work. Now that we are on the moon, you can’t expect me to work.”

He replied: “Depends, if I can find a phone.”

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A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”

“Honey,” the woman replied sweetly, “I’d have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE”

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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

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Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?

Millionaire: I owe everything to my wife.

Interviewer: Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?

Millionaire: A Billionaire

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A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body?”

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humour.”

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Man to wife on wedding night: “Are you sure I’m the first man you are sleeping with?”

Wife replied: “Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!”

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are… plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such… but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra… all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models… They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo…”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind…”

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on…” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code… a geek can dream).

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce…

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps…

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.