Once again I am going to write about women, and how they are so driven by the need for power and to be in high positions. Why do they need to be in a position of power, and why do they feel they have to prove something to men?
Please for god’s sake you have nothing to prove. We are not bothered by your drive for success, we are not bothered by your need to be better than us. So when you tell us that you’re extremely busy with your work and that you have no time for other things, like hello? You’re not the only one who’s working to make ends meet. We too are working, and probably are putting more hours at the office than you do.
So please, please do not try to show off or brag. We are just not interested. What we are interested in is the size of your love pillows or the colour of the bra you have on and how many minutes it would take to take it off. No need to tell us about the world dominating work you do, no need to tell us about what you achieved at work and what not. We are not interested. Period.
Also if you get promoted to be the boss, that’s fine and dandy and give yourself a pat on your back. I am sure that your next aim would be to improve productivity at the office and here’s a suggestion. If you are the boss to a group of men, please please hire good looking women with buoyant titty balls. Do not waste your time to lecture us about the need for change, do not tell us what we need to achieve and for fucks sake do not tell us what to do. We are adults, and if we needed someone to nag us to death, we might as well call our mother or mother-in-law.
Just hire drop dead gorgeous female staff. And by drop dead gorgeous, I don’t mean someone who dyed their hair some ugly brown colour with the hope of trying to pass off as a blonde but forgot to dye their eyebrows the same colour, resulting in a stark contrast of colours which would even scare the animals in the wild into hiding. By gorgeous I mean someone who looks like Aishwariya Rai, Priyanka Chopra, Rani Mukherjee or even busty Lindsay Lohan. If you want to be blonde, be like Nicole Kidman. Blonde and beautiful, not blonde and ugly. Productivity will increase in tangent with the number of pretty girls.
So take note! You are not the only one who is busy with work. You are not the only one who holds a high position. The only position we guys are interested in are missionary and doggie and the occasional 69. So the next time you feel the need to open your mouth to boast about yourself, I only have this quote from Ali G to share with you:
Set your phone to vibrate and finish yourself off.
