People I come into contact with always ask me how I’m doing in this foreign land. Well I’m fine and dandy folks, albeit a bit peeved off with the buffoons around me. When they ask me what’s good about this country, I’ll tell them it’s a small island, big places, huge experience!
So to tempt you further to make this country your number one tourism destination, I have compiled a list of the great things this country has to offer. Heck, this country can even give the Visit Malaysia 2007 campaign a run for its money.
10. The weather. I can walk under the blazing sun without even breaking into a sweat. Now how many of you can last under the sun more than 1 minute back home?
9. The people. They are really a friendly lot. And if they know you’re a foreigner, they’ll be friendlier to you, as an attempt to con you out of your money.
8. You gain recognition. Where else can the taxi drivers (here the taxis are three wheelers like that of Thailand and India) recognize you by your face and scream at you to take the bus instead of travelling by their three wheelers just because we refuse to pay what they want?
7. Public transport is so damn efficient that you can hail a bus right from anywhere you want because there aren’t any proper bus stops. Example if you’re coming out from your office, you can just hail a bus at the main entrance of the building and get on it. Try doing this with Intrakota and you’ll get what I mean.
6. You can cross the roads without fear of being knocked down because here cars, bikes and buses will actually brake in time if they see pedestrians crossing the road. Failure to do so would result in the drivers being fined.
5. The food. Forget about the stuff you see people eating on Fear Factor. All you have to do is have the local sandwich which is made of bread, butter and green chillies, and a lot of chillies for breakfast. If you survive, it’s true that fear is not a factor.
4. Radiation. Every where you go, you have to walk through a metal detector and have your bags scanned. So if you’re an oncologist, this would be the ideal place for you to make it big and become rich.
3. If you love to gamble, you are treated like a king. The casinos here offer the highest percentage of winning worldwide, and also they provide free transport and food. Take a hint Lim Goh Tong.
2. Remember how back home you are appalled by the news of senseless rapes, killings and snatch thefts? Well don’t fret as all these are non-existent here. What they do have is random suicide bombings and air strikes.
1. Don’t you hate the countless lame ass adverts on tv? Well here the adverts are either about the airforce, police and the bomb disposal squads. Doesn’t that give you a sense of security?
