I was reading the papers this morning and was appalled by the headlines which screamed ‘Off Peak Rebates for Highway Users.’ I am wondering which certified moron came up with this brilliant suggestion to offer lower toll rates for users of the LDP Highway during off peak hours.

According to the Transport Minister,

With lower tolls, users would be encouraged to stagger their journeys and lessen the congestion during peak hours.

This suggestion is doomed to fail, and it doesn’t need a rocket scientist to explain why. But then since the cabinet is filled with clowns, monkeys and Bigfoot, let me explain why this suggestion is doomed to fail even before it is implemented.

First of all, the roads are congested because of the hopeless public transport a.k.a RapidKL. The only thing rapid here is the rate of road users blood begins to boil each time they are caught in a jam. The public transport here is so ill-conceived that it does not serve the public at all. I too am wondering what purpose it serves.

Secondly, to make this suggestion a success, may I suggest that the work hours be staggered as well? If the current work hours remain 9 to 5, there’s no way in hell people are going to wake up at 4 a.m. to get to work which starts at 9 a.m. So how about government agencies switching their work hours from 5 a.m. to 1 p.m.? And the private sector business hours remain the same. I am sure this will drastically reduce traffic congestion during peak hours.

To further reduce traffic congestion, may I go one step further to suggest that all the ministers’ government car privileges are revoked and make it mandatory for them to use public transport? This would be killing two birds with one stone, as traffic congestion will be drastically reduced and the government expenditure can also be reduced as they no longer have to pay for the official cars and their maintenance. This money could then be channeled to fund improvements in the public transport infrastructure.

Until the powers that be are not willing to give up their comfy official cars and drivers, I think they are not in the position to actually sit down and give serious effort in resolving the transportation problems. Until then, Semuanya OK!