Nefarious Wanker

I’ve been taking the monorail for the past week to get to work, and my god….what a poorly designed form of public transportation. The station is quite a distance to walk from the so called transportation hub of KL. Somebody was sleeping during the design stage, and some equally sleepy head guy must have approved the stupid plans. It’s such a pain to use, and instead of providing a fast and convenient form of transport, it is such a hassle a to use!

What’s my beef with the monorail? Well for one, look at the station. It’s a far walk from KL Sentral, and the last end of the walkway is not covered. Now imagine walking under the hot sun in your power suit and lugging your briefcase/laptop/lunch box. By the time you reach the station, you’ll be left breathless. And imagine on a rainy day, you’ll be stuck in the station cursing the powers that be who designed the station for not including a covered walkway. How can anyone leave out something so basic from the plans??

Then there’s the ticketing counters. Too little ticketing counters and no automated ticketing machines. But wait a minute, even if there were automated ticketing machines, most of the time it wouldn’t except notes, or worse yet, it’ll be out of service. Then there’s the issue of the ticket itself. Why the hell is there only one entrance that accepts Touch N’ Go? What’s all the big hoo haa about promoting the usage of the electronic payment? Is it so difficult to have all the entrances equipped with the Touch N’ Go card readers? And why the heck is there only three entrances to serve a gazillion passengers? Not many people enjoy being herded like cows you know.

Once you have gone through the pain of purchasing the tickets, you now have to go to the upper level. Most of the time the escalator is out of service, and you have to take the stairs. Another sign of poor maintenance culture. We are paying for it, and we deserve to get what we paid for for fuck’s sake! Then the station alone is not disabled friendly, as I don’t see how a person in a wheelchair or crutches will be able to make it to the upper platform.

Then there’s the monorail carriage itself. Only two carriages to serve the morning rush hour? Are you for real? How could have someone fuck up something so simple? Malaysia is not the first country to have implemented this form of mass rapid transit. We should have looked at other countries to see how they have designed their system and taken a leaf or two out of their book. But no, being Malaysians, we just had to be egotistical and be different, and proceed to be such a fuck up in the process. Who’s laughing now? Definitely not the daily users who are herded in to the carriages and have to put up with the stench of smelly armpits. I truly salute you people.

Oh and another thing, what is the load limit? I shudder in fear to see the carriages packed to the brim, and I hope that no untoward incident occurs, like the monorail toppling over, killing everyone inside it as well as the people below. Do we need to wait for a tragedy to strike before remedial action will be taken? Oh wait….I forgot that this Bolehland!

Have you been following the erection updates? Who’s in the lead, and who’s gonna come crashing down hor?Has the area around your house been turned into a mess, with all the ugly mugshots of the candidates contesting in the erection hanging from ebeli tree, lamp post and signboard, enough to make you want to rip those ah gua off?

Are wa lang really that fickle? How many of you will acherly think that by shoving these ugly mugshots down our throats ebelilay that wa lang will eventually vote for them? Is that the main criteria on how wa lang should form a decision on who to vote for? By choosing the candidate whose poster is hanging on the highest coconut tree, the number of posters a candidate has decorating the roundabout or the candidate with the fanciest decoration of posters? Come on man, prease don’t waste our time and yours. Nabeh! We liao liao have lagi best things to do, like figuring how to make ends meet each month.

Don’t these jokers stop and think si mi will happen after the erection period is over? All these posters will probably end up wrapping somebody’s kacang putih, nasi remak or even be recycled into jo cake paper which will end up wiping someone’s arse? Limpeh for one wouldn’t want my lan jiao picture to end up this way. Just think about it, your face kissing someone’s arse surrounded by shit one. This would really bring meaning to the term ass-kissing.

Hamik wa lang want as the voters are not more empty promises. Limpeh for one gets really pissed off flipping through the newspapers ebelilay to see all the countless warnings about how wa lang are throwing our future away if wa lang vote the inexperienced opposition into power. Like hello?? IF EXPERIENCE IS ALL THAT MATTERS, WE WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN A MAN ON THE MOON, WE WOULDN’T HAVE BUILT THE HOOVER DAM, THERE WOULD BE NO EMPIRE STATE BUILDING, THERE WOULDN’T BE ANY PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES. WE WOULDN’T HAVE DISCOVERED THAT THE WORLD IS ROUND, OR THAT THE PLANET REVOLVES AROUND THE SUN. Just think about it one.

So this erections, prease use your vote wisely and vote with your conscience. Vote who you want to vote for and not vote for who the garblement wants you to vote for. Hopefully the next 5 years would be lagi best and wa lang will see some change. Let’s not hope that we’ll end up like Burma, Afghanistan and whatever-stan.